Day 13

As expected, Ellie did not sleep on Day 13 (Friday). But she did not cry as long and intensely as the day before. We then spent some time on the couch lying around having a good quiet time. Maybe that's all she needs. I can't entertain the thought that Ellie may not need naps anymore since she isn't even 2 years old yet and still very cranky during the day, but I'm not sure if her tempermant is due to lack of sleep or because she's hitting her terrible two stage. I don't want to force her to nap if she doesn't have to.

Anyways, I was a little hopeful thinking she handled naptime better than the day before, but it sank as soon as bedtime neared. She did not want to sleep. I tried to be as firm, yet gentle as possible, but she insisted on watching Pingu. I told her that was not possible and it was soon time for bed. She was obviously so exhausted throwing fits here and there. Jae and I somehow managed to calm her down. I took her to bed and kissed her goodnight. She started crying as soon as I put her down, but did not try to get up. She was just lying there crying...she was obviously so sad. I covered her and left the room. She continued to cry for about 5 minutes and fell asleep.

Then I started to cry. Poor Ellie. What should I do? I feel like a monster...like I've abandoned her. What if she really is ready to give up her naps? What if she just needs quiet time with me? But what if she just wants to fall asleep in my arms? I can almost see the night wakings ahead. Am I being selfish? What has happened to her that she'd suddenly want me during her naps? What if something scary or uncomfortable happened during her naps and she's associating sleep with those fears? Hmm...a possible thought. In that case, I know time will do the trick. It's just tough not knowing...guessing...the whole trial and error method...she's a kid, not an experiment.

I guess there could be a bright side with Ellie giving up her naps...we will no longer be bound to her nap schedule and actually go to social outings and her bedtime would be set earlier.

I guess if there is more improvement with today's nap, I will have a better sense of what to do from here on out.

And if not, tomorrow is another day.