Shoe Strike!

Well, I was hoping for a better day today. We started off well...then she wanted to go outside and play with her water table. But she refused to put on her shoes! Then I calmly explained (like she actually cared) that she couldn't go outside without shoes...it's just the rules. "Your feet will get dirty or you might get an ouchy! Let's put on your shoes and we can go play." It was such a beautiful morning too. She refused and threw a tantrum. Oh my! So I walked away from her. Thank goodness Jae came downstairs and rescued me. At that point, I didn't know what to do. I felt mixed feelings...he becomes the good guy and I'm the bad, but I was just glad Ellie calmed down. It was so funny...she gave me the dirtiest looks I've ever seen! Ha ha ha! She can not make feel bad...she's too cute even when she's angry with me. But I suppose I shouldn't be laughing at her or belittling her feelings...my mom does that to me all the time! I hate it.

So we tried another attempt to go outside. I'm not sure what exactly changed, but Ellie was so cooperative. We ran around with Chloe, threw some tennis balls, played with Beamer (backyard neighbor's dog), played in the water table, and walked around. We had a lot of fun, although Ellie had a tendency to want to walk near Chloe's poop.

Ellie Bellie!

Wow! Our little Ellie is going through some phase! Jae and I worry about her sometimes. Last night she wailed and screamed and cried in the middle of her bath...I don't think she wanted her hair rinsed or she just wanted to get out of the tub. She started sweating...I started sweating...she was so tired, but didn't want her diaper on, but we can't compromise there! Jae and I wrestled to fasten the diaper well and just when we thought her screams couldn't get worse, they did. Oh! What to do! I decided to bring her downstairs...maybe to distract her from the lack of control she was feeling. We turned on Elmo's "Kids Favorite Songs, 2!". Her crying eased a tiny bit, but she was still upset. I tried rocking her, bouncing her. I finally got tired and plopped on the couch with Ellie on my belly. She snuggled her head into my arms for a minute, whined a bit, then raised her head to watch Baby Bear do his version of "The Bear Went Over the Mountain". Oh...what's this?...a smile was forming on her face! Was she just tired of crying or did Baby Bear do something magical? I was finally able to put on her house pants and Jae took her upstairs for bed. She went down without a peep.

Tonight, Ellie decided she wanted a heavy blanket over her head. When the blanket would not stay on just the way she wanted, she would scream and fuss. Oh no! She's at it again. The level of frustruation she felt was nominal. We had to take the blanket away from her for fear that she might suffocate herself...and she was sweating like crazy under it! We gave her a nice think blankie she sleeps with sometimes, but it was not the same. She cried and screamed more. I quickly distracted her with a book and with the help of our excercise ball, we bounced. She got calm and I put her to sleep in her room. She went down without a peep and without house pants this time.

There's nothing more scary to a parent than not knowing why your child is crying or worse, not being able to console him/her. Just wait til she enters her terrible 2's! But I'm just glad she sleeps through the night and loves to give hugs and kisses.

I just hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Due date...

I was due to give birth to a baby today. Last October my doctor confirmed a molar pregnancy. A crushing blow to our hearts...a 2nd failed attempt. Our first miscarriage was before we had Ellie. Then God blessed us with Ellie. Then this...I thought I would be able to handle it because I've already been through a miscarriage...oh well...we will just try again in a few months. There's so much involved in a molar pregnancy though...I have been through a lot since...even heard the word "cancer"...a small possibility (thank God).

I've just been sad all weekend...just ask Jae...then I felt redicilous to morn a baby that was never created...I loved the idea of bringing life into the world...bless Gloria for bringing in 3 and hoping for more! But maybe it's not the baby I morn...I can't explain.

Easter Sunday came with so many confirmations for us. I don't think there was a dry eye at church. God spoke to all of us in such a personal way..."live today the best that you can, but not the selfish way like 'go skydiving! or buy that object you've always wanted!'" It was more like 'give your life to God today...do something for others for once! Make a sacrifice! Make someone's life all the better without expecting anything in return!' And this is something I truly need to work on.

I came away with 3 certainties this Sunday. I am finally going to get baptized, but not because I'm supposed to, but because I want to show everyone and my family that I believe in Jesus and His precious sacrifice.

Secondly, if God permits, Jae and I wish to adopt a little girl from China. There are reasons why I made a committment to a particular baby, but that is too long to explain.

And lastly, I am going to try my best to accept any sacrifice God asks of me...even if it means no more children. OH.....this is going to be a tough one! God used those people at Harvest so that they could be a blessing to others. They had no idea that they would one day stand in front of a congregation and be baptized and speak specifically to me! But that's how amazing God works and I hope with all my heart God will use my sacrifice to do the same...what an honer it is! And I hope He is using me even now.

Good Friday

Happy Good Friday everyone!

The snow is falling like mad as I look outside my window...it's the end of March! Who would believe it? I don't remember it being so cold last year...I think it rained...if my memory serves me right, most Good Fridays I've remembered were murky days...but not to fret, Easter is coming soon!

I'm finally beginning to appreciate Easter and what it all means. I've always known Easter to be the day when Jesus rose from the dead, but now it is so personal...because of the sacrifice He made on this day, I am white as the snow falling outside my window, free and welcomed with open arms.

How a God could love such a maggot like me, I will always be in debt and I will grieve and celebrate and sing and proclaim His name forever and ever and ever and ever and ever!

Thank you Jesus!

Hello my name is Simon...and I love to do draaawings...

Did anyone catch American Idol last night?(...yes...this is what i do after Ellie's to bed...)
What in the world is wrong with Simon? I think he has a fettish (sp) for blondes. I have to admit that none of the girls sounded half way decent, but to top that disappointment, Simon makes a comment that the 2 blondes, I forget their names (this is how popular they are) were the two best singers in the competition last night! What? He's on crack. They were alright, but not the best.

If anyone did well last night, I'd have to say it was Bo Bice. I don't like his hair at all and I think I'd run the other way if I saw him on the street, but he was good. There wasn't loud music or background singers to hide his voice...it was just pure guitar and voice. We'll see if he can handle other themes.

Diaper Strike!

Ellie loves getting her diaper changed...or her diaper coming off. Every day as soon as the diaper comes off, she runs for it! She either heads for the couch or the kitchen hoping I will chase after her with a fresh pair of diapers. Today was no different. It was funny at first, trying to catch her little tushy, running around the house giggling. I find the novelty of it slowly fading away now. I'm just weary she will "create" something on the floor before it's too late! Jae and I usually have to distract her in order to get those diapers on and once she notices we have successfully contained her, she tries to pull them off. But the Huggies are stronger...thank you Huggies!

The Neighbor Virus

Chloe is sick again! Meaning that Jae and I get up 5 times in the middle of the night to let Chloe outside to do her business because she has diarrhea. I thought we were finished with middle of the night wakings after Ellie started sleeping through the night...now it's Chloe's turn. She's been eating stuff the neighbors leave out in their backyard...like wrappers...and who knows what's in it. We noticed a 3 month pattern of this. We are so very very tired. I don't know if I want to do this again with another baby...ha! Be prepared for sleepless nights and baggy eyes pregnant women of America!

Today you are Barney

If you've read my previous post you'd know that my adorable little daughter pointed to a picture of Jae and said, "Die". We looked through more pictures of Jae today. I asked her, "Who's that?" Her reply..."Barney!"

Aaaahhhhh Haaaaaa! I can't help but laugh and giggle. Hey, don't feel so bad Jae. She doesn't call me anything! I'm just "guk" (milk).

Sad day for Jae

I have a wallpaper of Jae and Ellie on my computer. Ellie points to dad and says, "Die!" I think she meant to say, "daddy".

Also, Jae's been really proud of the fact that he taught Ellie the word, circle. Well, Ellie brought some coasters, set them on my lap, and enthusiastically said, "Circle!". The coasters were square.

This is why I don't go out anymore

7-Eleven
I entered a 7-eleven to pick up a drink. While I was passing up the drinks, I saw from the corner of my eye...NACHOS! I ripped the plastic bag the nacho chips were in so I could add some cheese. I poured the cheese on top of the nachos and covered it with a lid. All the while, the lady at the counter is watching me closely...I have no idea why...maybe she's concerned I will make a mess...maybe she's concerned I will sneak a chip into my purse...who knows! Anyway, I came up to the counter with my drink, chips, and wrapper. I noticed a garbage can behind the lady and asked her nicely if she could throw my wrapper out for me. She then gave me a "look", pointed to a garbage can by the door and told me I could do it on my way out...this is why I don't go out anymore.

Post Office
I went to the post office to drop off some mail. I also needed more stamps so I went inside. I purchased my stamps and placed my mail neatly in front of me on a nice, large, counter and placed my stamps on my mail. There was a strange looking man across the counter putting stamps on his mail as well. He finished placing his stamps before I did and then just stared at my mail...it was a very obvious glare. I wondered if I did something strange. I dropped the mail in the mailbox and the strange man dropped his off at the same time. How queer. I headed towards the door very quickly...I thought the man was going to follow me out, but he walked towards the mailbox. He kept opening and closing the door of the mailbox...this is why I don't go out anymore.

Sleeping Beauty

My daughter has become obsessed with Sleeping Beauty...considering that she doesn't like to sleep, it's quite ironic! She made me watch the same dancing and singing part of the movie 4 times! That was all before noon! But it's cute when she tries to sing the high notes like the princess because her face gets all high and crunched and it sounds more like a squeal than a note.

I'm learning

During the first 6 months after Ellie was born, all I wanted to do was sleep...now all I wanna do is stay up as long as my eyelids will let me.

twirly curl barbie

do you remember Twirly Curl Barbie? my sis and i were reminising...i don't know how to spell it, anyway, we were talking about the good old days when we were young. we lived by small means and most of our toys were worn out hand me down wooden blocks, a handkerchief, a bigger paper box, my Bandy Lion, some inflatable doll house furniture and a Twirly Curl Barbie. They don't have toys like that anymore! I miss the simple times.